Thursday, August 28, 2008

Walmart Zombie

Due to the financial "snafu" detailed in my last blog, after a very long Monday I made my way to Walmart to shop. Following the company's proud tradition, the Walmart in West Des Moines is a cesspool of great bargains. I think I read in the paper it's already been condemned and scheduled for demolition. But the city council won't tell when it's coming down so they can remove two kinds of eyesores and societal blemishes with one bulldozer; that is, Walmart and its shoppers.

So, there I am, pushing my cart - alright, staggering behind my cart - wandering up and down the aisles and apathetically running my cart into the shelves, hoping items will fall into my cart so I won't have to expend the energy of picking them up and putting them in the cart myself.

I was so tired I seriously considered curling up for a quick nap in the produce section. Staring at romaine, the I must have been visualizing myself on a bed of lettuce too convincingly because a Walmart employee approached and asked me if I was feeling alright. I said yes and kept shopping.

When a second employee asked me the same question, I decided it was probably time to wrap it up and go home. But when my checker snapped me back into reality by asking me, "Is everything okay? You look terrible," I was just plain embarrassed.

Given the classy clientele at Walmart I must have looked like a walking corpse if THREE employees were so shocked by my appearance they asked me how I felt. And so, I can tell all of you exactly how I feel about my experience: Mortified. And now I'm going to bed.

9 comments:

jllowoolsey said...

What, no pictures? After that, I wanted to see for myself the zombie that was alarming all the calloused Walmart employees. Hee hee! Glad you got some sleep!

skcoe said...

Wow. You must have looked BAD. The last time I went to Walmart there were at least two people in pajamas (one of those women still had curlers in her hair), and a man wearing women's cutoff shorts and a suit vest with no shirt underneath. If you can top that and actually get someone's attention, I can only IMAGINE how you must have looked!

Get some SLEEP...

Rick said...

Hey! I know that vest wearing guy! He manages the Walmart here. I guess you saw him when he was doing some training or "on tour" or something.

The Uffens Family said...

You must frequent Wal-Mart a lot... sorry we didn't get in touch with you before you left - Jeremy did head off to scout camp, only to return a day later with a broken collarbone. Needless to say, I've had my hands full for the last month! Hope school is going well - we'll have to try again around Christmas?

Rick said...

Broken collarbone? Um, OUCH! And poor Jer. I hope it's healing nicely. Christmas sounds great. Here's hoping your son didn't follow his dad's example at scout camp...

Babe in Boysland said...

Poor Poor Wicky. Not because you're tired, but because you've actually sunk so low that you're more pathetic that people working at Walmart. Poor Poor Wicky.

Dawnell said...

Have you recovered? Are you able to enter a Target yet?

Rick said...

Yes, Dawnell, I have recovered - but I still don't meet Target's dress code. Sigh...

jllowoolsey said...

Hey, I'm going to be making my blog private. So I need your email address so I can send you and invite and you can keep reading it. You can email it to me at weaser05@yahoo.com or just put it on my blog.